I can count on one hand the number of anniversaries and birthdays we have actually celebrated together.  It is almost a given that each year Tim is involved in military training the last two weeks of July.  So…HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUD!  We will sing to you later but we won’t make you blow out FORTY ONE candles. 

You will be happy to know that the kids asked if I could go to the Army so that you could stay home with them.  I have no doubt who their favorite parent is!  Mothers always get the shaft.

Lots of love from your F.A.M.I.L.Y

The kids learned what CHICKEN FIGHTS were this week. In fact, the chant for ‘CHICKEN FIGHTS, CHICKEN FIGHTS…’ is just as fun as watching them attempt to play.  When they ran out of ‘big kids’ to play with they decided to try it on their own. I think they are not only figuring out they can play together well…but they can form teams.

By the way, our bath routine for the summers has been pool time.  Chlorine is as effective as soap, right?

I know I have blogged about it before…but I love going to the barber.

So Tim takes the early-bird, Campbell, to the dry cleaner this morning.

Now, if you have never heard the pure pleasure of Campbell’s volume, it is kind of like a bull horn. She has no concept of volume control. Because she is the tiniest in the family, we give her the excuse of trying to make up for her stature. Bottom line…she has been a loud ass from the moment she was born. Even the nurses couldn’t believe the set of lungs she had for being so little. Gosh, we are blessed!

Anyway, back to the story.

As Tim gets off a phone call, Campbell yells from the back, “Who was that?”

Tim replies, “My boss!”

Campbell, the-ever-so-smart, four going on fourteen girl, says, “You mean…MOMMY?”

While she may drive me nuts on a hourly, daily, weekly basis…I got to love every inch of her. She is not only super sharp, she’s got my back!

FOURTEEN YEARS. A fabulous wedding in Chicago. A surprise Tango. Relaxing honeymoon in Aruba and Curacao. Lots of Cuban cigars. Scooter for TWO. Wow…Tiffany has a SISTER! Lots of friends getting married. Coast-to-coast travel through the week with Andersen Consulting. Valentine’s in Montreal. FOURTEEN YEARS. Swimming with dolphins in the Gulf. Surrogate mother, Ann Sedita, passes away unexpectantly. Relocation to Alabama. Age waiver to attend Flight School. Dad gets a patent on a kite system…Cloud Catcher Kites. Blissful month in Italy and Greece. B&B in Amish country. College roommate trip to Northern Michigan. Christmas in Puerto Vallarta. Business trip to Bermuda. How about that gig? Built our first piece of furniture together. Bought our first car. FOURTEEN YEARS. Got knocked up in New Orleans. Ten-year high school reunion. Moved to Indy and bought our first home. Lost our niece, Lindsey, after a tragic accident. Beloved Aunt LouAnn loses her battle with brain cancer. College roommate vacation to Tucson. Ran the mini-marathon together. FOURTEEN YEARS. Millenium Bash. Learn to paint. Tim transitions from Andersen to marchFirst. Briggs Alexander was born. Realized we both have varied opinions on how to handle a baby. Time for a second car. FOURTEEN YEARS. Adopt a part-time work schedule. Start a dinner club. Las Vegas Venetian-style. Travel across the country to Kuaui with Briggs. Business in London. Blackhawk transition school. Learning about landscaping and home maintenance. FOURTEEN YEARS. Tiffany’s father in another bicycle accident leaving him with his second major head trauma. Month in Chicago. Grandma Lena passes away. Hosted lots and lots of visitors. More Christmases in Chagrin Falls. Nathan relocated to Indy. We have a roommate. September 11th…we will never forget. FOURTEEN YEARS. Tim awarded Meritorious Service Medal. Ely, Minnesota for family vacation. Nestled into the Gaige House Inn in Sonoma Valley. Wine. Briggs was ring bearer in Betsy’s wedding. Ball State Homecoming. First cruise to Key West and Cozumel with friends. Three-day, 60-mile walk for Breast Cancer. Helena moves to Indy. FOURTEEN YEARS. Tim takes command of Blackhawk unit. Mark and Terry finally married! Nate and Helena engaged! Tim’s college roommate, Mike Troyer, dies suddenly. Unbelievable. Launch Nathaniel Edmunds Photography. First miscarriage. FOURTEEN YEARS. Pending deployment to Bosnia. Shooting up with hormones multiple times daily. Off to the land of Disney. Visit Stacy in San Francisco. Swimming with sting rays in Grand Cayman. Miscarriage #2. More hormones, IVF treatments, and pure joy while my body gets poked and prodded on a daily basis. FOURTEEN YEARS. Confident we will be parents again just taking a LONG time. Puerto Vallarta with parents. Throw a shoe across the kitchen…can you say hormone surge? Getaway weekend with Mark and Terry to Whitestone B&B. FOURTEEN YEARS. WOW…pregnant. Travel to Sweden for Nate and Helena’s amazing, incredible wedding. Gage DeWitt is born. Amazingly blessed. Soccer. Mom and Bill move to Indianapolis. Dad moves to Indianapolis. Seeing a trend here. Pant our house. FOURTEEN YEARS. Kindergarten. Tim’s mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She moves in for treatment in Indy. Finish basement. Woah…Mom turns 60! Holy crap…pregnant with twin girls. Phyllis loses her battle with cancer after it spreads to her brain. Wow…Nate and Helena are pregnant too! Emerson Adelaide and Campbell Sinclair are born. We are done. Sleep deprived. FOURTEEN YEARS. Elin is born! Grandpa Gordon turns 90. Start to prepare for pending deployment with a lot of Army training. Baptized as a family. ‘Letters from Tim’ blog…the start of something that will forever have an enormous impact on our lives. Year+ deployment to Iraq. Flag football. Overwhelmed by neighbors, community and family support. NYC with just Briggs. Striving for peace in the household. Great Wolfe Lodge. Our travel has changed. FOURTEEN YEARS. MAJOR Stoner. Best joke around. Safe return with all soldiers unharmed. Threw the stats out the window. Tim awarded Bronze Star. Great runs along the coast in Maui. Reintegrating as a family. Not easy. Trip to the East Coast interrupted suddenly by the tragic death of Aunt Nine. Will never forget her. FOURTEEN YEARS. Move Grandpa Gordon to Indianapolis. Here four months and then passes. Devastated. Puerto Vallarta with the whole crew. Stacy’s Friendship Ball. Gymnastics, Tae Kwon Do, Soccer, etc. Axel is born! FOURTEEN YEARS. Tim named IBJ’s Forty Under Forty. Extended family trip to Tennessee. Tim’s best friend, Joel Peigh, loses his short battle with cancer. Tim is FORTY! Best trip ever to Napa Valley. FOURTEEN YEARS. Montessori. Twenty-year high school reunion. We are the Stoner Six. Publish FamilyPrint. Decide to start a nonprofit of the same name. Need to give back. Mickey Mouse Land with our clan. New role for Tim at Pricewaterhouse Coopers. Motorcycle accident. Completely living the dream. FOURTEEN YEARS.

Aunt Nine left us two years ago. I woke up. Read some prior posts about her. Spoke with my uncle and her children.

So I was simply amazed when I walked into the kitchen to see her prism casting the most beautiful rainbow. We haven’t seen one since the first of Spring. Nothing is a coincidence.

CONUNDRUM:  A confusing and difficult problem or question.

CONUNDRUM:  The confusing and difficult position every working mother finds themselves in while attempting to manage a career and still be a dedicated, attentive, and loving mother to her children.

I seem to pass through this ‘phase’ at least once a year.  This phase is typically brought on by being sleep deprived from putting in too many late night hours of work.  It includes losing my patience with my children,  and having a strong desire to redefine my purpose.  I feel overwhelmed, and most of all inadequate.  Kind of like doing everything ‘half-assed.’  I don’t like it.

A mother’s  job isn’t easily switched off.  Who am I kidding…there is no off switch.  There are constant needs and requirements.  Even when we attempt to focus solely on work, in the back of our minds there are the nagging thoughts that persist:

‘Got to remember to get the football physical turned in.’
‘Don’t forget to pick up six gallons of milk some time today.’
‘Crap…I forgot to switch that load of laundry.’
‘I wonder if he wiped well enough when he went to the bathroom.’
‘I forgot to call his teacher back.’
‘Wonder when we are going to fit the time in for homework afterschool and before soccer.’
‘She seemed so tired this morning when I woke her up for school. Hope she is doing okay.’
‘I wish we wouldn’t have lost her blankie.’
‘I have to work with him on his letters and numbers.’
‘Why didn’t I think about dinner before 5:30?’

The continuous stream of thoughts must eat up a significant amount of brain power.   I currently do not have enough RAM.

Now what makes things really difficult is trying to work from home in the summer!  It never goes away.  It is aways where you leave it…right there like a giant turd sitting on the desk.  There is something to be said about clocking in and clocking out!  And conference calls inbetween games of hide-n-seek is insane.  Thank goodness for the mute button.

Perhaps this isn’t a phase but the start of a midlife crisis of sorts.  I feel forty coming at me like a freight train.  Maybe I am suppose to figure out what to give up as I officially enter my midlife years.

Briggs did everything I would have hoped when we dropped him off for his first week of summer camp.  Yet, I let a few tears drop as he walked away.

He was oozing with excitement and confidence upon arrival…especially as he met up with his buddy, Carson.

He didn’t ask us a single question.  He introduced himself to the counselors.  He didn’t look back.  Heck, he hardly even cared to say goodbye to any of us.

He and Carson have been waiting for this camp experience with great anticipation.

I could not be more excited for him.  Even as I sit here to write this I imagine him grinning at the stories being swapped around the campfire. I imagine him swinging like Tarzan from the rope swing.  I can visualize him stealing a few glances across the lake at a cute girl.

This camp exceeded my expectations 100 percent.  He will likely have the best week he can recall ever having in his first decade.

But I cannot believe my son is old enough to spend a week on his own in the woods.  There have been many signs of his growing age and maturity this summer, this being the pinnacle.

As a parent, I want independence and freedom for him.  And, I want him to feel confident enough to leave us without hesitation.  But as a mommy, I still want to hold him in my lap and need me.

I am perplexed.

It is definitely summertime!

My house is dirtier.  As a whole, we go through even more bulk food than I care to admit.  There is a neverending need for playdates.  Getting the children to bed before 10pm when it is still daylight is impossible.  The fighting has significantly increased.  Our driveway looks like a trailer park littered with scooters, bikes, towels, and sandals. And, bathing has all been forgotten considering there is a daily visit to the pool.  Chlorine is as good as soap, right?

But we have definitely had some HIGHS!

+ Trip to a wolf and coyote sanctuary
+ Two Indians games at Victory Field
+ Annual visit to the Madison Regatta
+ Dwight Freeney Football Camp
+ Princess Camp
+ Zoobilation
+ Tennis, Swim Team and Golf
+ Trip to the Indianapolis Zoo to see the new cheetahs
+ A country fair
+ Waterpark
+ Symphony on the Prairie
+ Girls Day only to see the Cinderella play
+ The Velveteen Rabbit play
+ The High School Musical at the dinner theater
+ Visit from AUNT Audrey
+ Visit from a college friend and her family
+ Visit from COUSIN Mina
+ Grandma’s new kitten…CHARLIE
+ Snowcones, face painting, watermelon, rope swinging and MORE

There has been no shortage of fun.

Note:  Nearly every picture was taken with my iPhone.

Gage.  I love that kid.

I sometimes get sad thinking about him.

He is growing up so quickly.  His time as my baby was so short-lived with the twins arriving twenty months after he was born.

He acts like a big kid.  He hangs out with the big kids.  He connects dots far beyond his age.  He just gets things.  Yet, he just melts in my arms whenever I give them out.

He is the one we spend the most time putting to bed.  It is like Gage time.  He always gets a book.  He always gets rubbed.  And, Tim dozes into dreamland with him nearly every night.  Maybe Tim and I both have a need to make up for lost-baby-time with him.

Like a second child, he hasn’t had the major exposure to the camera like Briggs did for every sporting event.  So, I made it a point to catch a few shots of him before the T-Ball season ended.

Gage.  I love that kid.