SIGHT WORDS | GAGE

So…with kindergarten we have begun the process of working on sight words.  Today, among others, I was reviewing ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ with Gage.  When we came to the word girl, I attempted to give him a hint.

I said, “Campbell is a ….. ”

Gage immediately replied, “Desperate!”

I think he is missing the point of starting with the basics but it gave me the only belly laugh I have had for the day.

MUSTACHE | BRIGGS

Apparently, the notion of puberty is hot on Briggs’ mind after being in middle school for two weeks. He yelled down the hall while I was doing laundry, “Mom!  I think I am getting a mustache.”

I asked him to come into the stronger light of the laundry room to investigate his upper lip.

I sneered, “You mean the blond fuzz on top of your lip?”

Almost at the same time Briggs exclaimed, “Come to think about it…Mom…you have a mustache too!”

My favorite exchange between the Briggs and Gage came after the Middle School Open House. 

Briggs has had a crush on one girl, in particular, for a few years. **For the sake of anonymity, her name has been changed below.** As we passed Arielle in the hall, I gave her a happy hello.  Briggs was unable to utter a word. 

He proceeded to tell me how embarassing I was at which point I explained he likely had the coolest mom in the entire fifth grade!  That was when I tripped…not only embarassing him more but realizing I may just think I am cool.

**Skip forward several hours.**

Briggs tends to divulge a lot of his feelings, and ask important questions at bedtime.  Like a computer, he is in his ‘shutdown’ process. 

………………….
Here was the exchange.

Briggs: 
So, Mom…how do I tell Arielle I like her?

Mom: 
Well, until you learn how to say ‘Hi’ to her, I wouldn’t worry about telling her you like her.  How about just starting off with something simple, such as “How was your summer?” or “Who is your homeroom teacher?”  or “Are you playing soccer this Fall?”

Briggs: 
I am not sure what I would say.

Mom: 
You are in fifth grade.  Why not just stick to being friends?

Gage <interjects with teasing>:
Briggs can’t tell Arielle he likes her!

Briggs <in the funniest comeback tone I have witnessed>:
Seriously, Gage.  You have an imaginary girlfriend named TreeTop.  I don’t think you should be teasing me.
………………..

And so it begins.  Middle School.  Girls.  Attitude.

Briggs did everything I would have hoped when we dropped him off for his first week of summer camp.  Yet, I let a few tears drop as he walked away.

He was oozing with excitement and confidence upon arrival…especially as he met up with his buddy, Carson.

He didn’t ask us a single question.  He introduced himself to the counselors.  He didn’t look back.  Heck, he hardly even cared to say goodbye to any of us.

He and Carson have been waiting for this camp experience with great anticipation.

I could not be more excited for him.  Even as I sit here to write this I imagine him grinning at the stories being swapped around the campfire. I imagine him swinging like Tarzan from the rope swing.  I can visualize him stealing a few glances across the lake at a cute girl.

This camp exceeded my expectations 100 percent.  He will likely have the best week he can recall ever having in his first decade.

But I cannot believe my son is old enough to spend a week on his own in the woods.  There have been many signs of his growing age and maturity this summer, this being the pinnacle.

As a parent, I want independence and freedom for him.  And, I want him to feel confident enough to leave us without hesitation.  But as a mommy, I still want to hold him in my lap and need me.

I am perplexed.

I appreciate having a job that allows flexibility.  I like being home as Briggs walks off of the school bus.  In fact, I have heard from other mothers that it is even more important as they grow older.

So, toward the end of the school year, Briggs entered the front door looking extremely upset.  His comment, “I had the worst day EVER!” started a series of machine-gun questions from me.  Were you teased?  Did you get a bad grade?  Are you sick?

Soon I learned that a friend of Briggs had brought an ‘inappropriate magazine’ on the bus.  Our dearest bus driver, Janet, who probably has cyborg eyes quickly figured it out and delivered a swift disciplinary action.   Briggs promised he hadn’t looked at the magazine.  Yeah, right!

Well, my curiosity started to grow.  I know this young boy’s parents quite well.   I am having visions of nasty magazines with gnarly names.

My next question to Briggs was, “What was the magazine called?”

His response nearly made me swallow my tongue in laughter.  I had to stay composed after he said, “Mom, it was an inappropriate girls magazine.  It was called Victoria’s Secret.”

When Tim returned home from work that evening we repeated the happenings.

His response isn’t all that surprising.  ”Hey…those women are beautiful.  In fact, they’re hot!  And if you want to look at the magazine your mom gets it in the mail.  But you got to play by the rules of the school.  You cannot take that kind of stuff on the bus.”

I guess it is beginning.  Our oldest son is growing up.

I have often wondered once I had sons what connection or activity we were going to have.  I will play swords and wrestle but that will only last for so long.  I think and hope I found my connection with Briggs.

Briggs has become quite interested in running (although the kid still has a major lazy streak).  So, I am pushing him to continue to run outside of his participation in Running Club.  He ran the distance of a marathon over several weeks in his Club. 

He and I ran our first official race together.  I definitely had more fun than he did but it gives me great hope that we can continue to do this together.

He was actually quite surprised though after he challenged me to a race along a city block on Mother’s Day.  I didn’t hold back.  I kicked his scrawny butt. 

BTW – Don’t look closely at my crow’s feet or roots!  Ugh…aging is a bitch.

The most thought provoking question I have been asked in a long time was by my son, Gage.  “Mom, does everyone have a conscience?”

Of course, my first reaction was everyone has a conscience.  Whether they decide to use it is entirely another matter.  

But the question stayed with me for several days. 

Shortly before Gage asked his question, Briggs came home with a short essay about right and wrong (see below).  I have kept in on my beside table for several weeks.  Anything personal he brings home, I treasure.  But this essay rang so true. 

We have such an enormous responsibility as parents.  Unlike many other traits,  I don’t believe we are born with a conscience.  It is one of those traits that is molded and created for us by our parents at a young age.  I feel so honored to be a parent raising children to make the right choices.  Now…you certainly know from MANY of my previous posts that they don’t.  But I mean the real choices they will make someday that have real consequences. 

Briggs gives me great hope that we are making some strides in the right direction.  May the rest follow.

TEN YEARS ago today, our eldest son was born.  Hard to believe he is now in the double digits.  Tim reminded me that Briggs will only be with us for eight more years (we will see about that), and it made me heart leap. 

Briggs has always been my little buddy.  For years, he had no siblings and we did everything together.  Our adventures were limitless with only one child to cart around.   Soon enough though we had a clan to consider.  

I will never forget the things I asked out of Briggs when Tim was deployed.  Essentially, he became my second set of hands.  He was forced to mature quickly.  And, I would not have made it without him.

In the next few days, I will sit down to write my annual letter to my little buddy. 

Happy Tenth Birthday, Briggs!

I heard a lot of giggling in my closet tonight, then I had a flashback to Weird Science as the boys walked out adorning my bras. 

I don’t cry often. In fact, rarely. But when I do it ain’t pretty. Last week I cried out of frustration (having a lack of control in my life) and ultimately joy.

I made the conclusion something has to give…and soon. But two things brought tears of joy.

Weepy Part 1
Briggs’ math grade has declined dramatically to the point where I felt compelled to meet with his teacher. I had such terrible ‘mom guilt’ after Briggs mentioned that I am too busy with work and the other kids! Talk about a stab through the heart!

Admittedly, I work with Briggs on homework but haven’t thoroughly studied with him because he appeared to comprehend the content. Besides it is the first year for tests…so I suppose we are both getting accustomed to higher learning and the greater expectations of FOURTH grade!

Unfortunately, after two Ds Briggs’ confidence was deteriorated. He was making comments such as, “I am just a stupid human.”

Now there is one thing that I have consistently said I desire for my childen. I don’t care if they are the smartest but I want them to be confident! If you have confidence everything will follow.

So, we studied HARD. We reviewed every chapter he has completed for the entire school year. We took every test and practice exam. He didn’t like me. However, I promised he and I would see New Moon if was able to get a ‘B’ or above.

On Test Day, I sent him with a note to his teacher. Before she left for Thanksgiving to please call me with his score.

When she called…it was like a dam broke loose. He didn’t just get a good score he got an A+. She was just as excited. She made the extra effort to find him after school to tell him herself. She said his face just lit up he was so proud.

When he got home, we were all there to congratulate him as he walked in the door. All I can say is…the confidence was back. The pride was evident on his face.

It made me realized that there is nothing more important than guiding him along the right path. Work will always be there. Clients will always be waiting to be satisfied. My house will always need to be cleaned. There will always be groceries to get, laundry to fold, and younger children to play with. But there will not always be the opportunity to foster confidence unless I bolster it now.

Weepy Part 2
Same day. Our publisher calls. They have an advanced copy of FamilyPrint and are dying for us to see it. We make a meeting at the closest Starbucks. I am hoping it looks as good as I imagine.

Pat hands it to me. I become a weepy mess just holding what amounted to be an enormous effort in my hands. She weeps too. I cannot say anything more than that. It is exactly what we wanted.

I am not ready to tell the truth that the big, jolly man in the North Pole is just a childhood fantasy.  At nine years of age, I want to continue the magic for Briggs.  He has questioned it.  Even though some of his friends no longer believe, he his hanging in there.

He said to me yesterday, “Mom, it’s hard to believe in Santa but I want to. If I could just see him it would be easier.” 

So, I said, “Well, have you ever seen a shark?”  He replied, “No.”  I continued, “Have you ever seen a knight?”  He again replied, “No.”  I kept hammering, “Well then how do you know they really exist? You have only read about them in books and seen them in movies…just like Santa.  Besides, some things are just miracles.”

Call me quick on my feet. 

I could have told him the truth.  And it does seem incongruent that I have had the ‘sex talk’ with Briggs yet I want to keep the man in the red suit a mystery.  But something just seems to die after a child learns the truth. 

To be quite honest, I know that as soon as Briggs ceases to believe in the magic of Christmas, the other children will find out FAR sooner than I wish.  I am confident he would keep it a secret for the twins but he would likely ruin it for Gage. 

So, am I bad for telling a BIG WHITE lie?  I figure some things we can be forgiven for.